Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
