At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
tell me about the fingering
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