Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
