is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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