ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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