sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
