my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
