My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
