just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
