Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize