I'm really into asian looking animals
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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