We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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