I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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