You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
