We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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