You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
