like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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