Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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