This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
