so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
