Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
