I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize