i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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