I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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