some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
