she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
