You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
it's great music for shaving your balls
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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