That's intense
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Randomize
