he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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