hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
