So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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