I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
