If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
