i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
