It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
