Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
