Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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