it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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