i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We got so high we made milksteak
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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