Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
