Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
