I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
my penis made a compromise with my morals
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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