look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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