I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
