I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
