Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
