There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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