East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
