My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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