every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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