no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
