turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Farmville is her only friend.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
