Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
