im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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