Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
