So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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