You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
