just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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